Three Rules for Happiness

Immanuel Kant, the 19th-century German philosopher responsible for the categorical imperative and for writing one of the thickest texts in both size and comprehension of all time, Critique of Pure Reason, has also been cited for one of the simplest prescriptions for happiness:

“Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”

Often, we chase happiness as the result of some great measurement we attain, like a dollar amount in the bank, a job title, great recognition or perhaps the more obscure idea of freedom. Some might even just say, “I am happy when I am having fun.”

But is this right? Let’s take a look at the power of Kant’s simple quote and its application in an ancestral approach to life.

1. Something to Do

“May your hands always be busy. May your feet always be swift.” —Bob Dylan

Without a mission, a purpose, something to wake up and point toward each day, the vacuum of emptiness becomes like a black hole, and your happiness will get sucked into it. Choose something—preferably something you care about, something you can do for years to come and something that makes the world a better place. This is the way to daily meaning and to a deep happiness.

From an ancestral perspective:

As simple as chopping wood and carrying water sounds, it is this kind of basic task that gives us focus and purpose. Our ancestors found happiness in being able to carry out basic survival tasks without finding their lives in jeopardy. To set up shelter, get food, and move safely to areas of natural abundance demanded most of their time. There was little in the way of contrived existence. Just about everything had a purpose, and all action was geared toward these things. Happiness was reinforced by taking care of survival needs.

The take-home:

Embrace simple but natural tasks, like setting up your house nicely, making home-cooked meals, walking the neighbourhood, and maintaining balance in your life. Choose other tasks that occupy you in meaningful ways, whether they be art, music, exercise, or study. The more you create, the happier you’ll be. This underlies what makes us human. Our creative abilities are far more advanced than those of the other animals with whom we share the planet. The act of creation itself is one of the most fulfilling and happiness-producing levers available to us.

2. Someone to Love

“No man is an island” —John Donne

You don’t have to marry, but you should find deep, soulful love: a love that will ground you and give you flight. Whether it be your partner, your kids, a family member, or a friend, let love into your life. I’m fortunate enough to have all of these in my life, but my kids can pretty well fill all three aspects of happiness. They certainly give me things to do; I love them, and I hope for their future all the time!

Love is not a finite resource, and that’s why we should give more of it. It’ll come back to you with just as much quantity. Both the giving and receiving will offer more happiness than almost anything else.

From an ancestral perspective:

Our ancestors lived as tribes. Their survival and fortune depended on working together and on communal health. This made each member of the tribe care for each other and invest in each other. They also spent a lot of time together and appreciated each member for their contributions. The connections ran deep, and happiness was found in the health of the tribe.

The take-home:

Today, we might not live as a tribe—or at least not one larger than a family—but we can still work together as a family and strive to connect with our community. Obviously, you are not going to love your mailman or grocer as much as your wife and kids, but you can appreciate all the members of your community as integral parts of the whole. You can be friendly, get to know others and respect their role in your lives, however subtle.

When it comes to your close relationships, you can be vigilant about taking people for granted, and make that extra effort to celebrate them and show that you care. Perhaps the most intense happiness possible for a human is to be with someone where there is mutual appreciation, real connection, and consequently, love.

3. Something to Hope For

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

We need a glimmering light in the distance. Something to keep us going no matter how negative the world is. We need hope! Often, hope is the only thing there is to hold on to.

From an ancestral perspective:

If you think there is uncertainty today, imagine what it was like thousands of years ago. Without all the advances in technology, medicine, communication, and knowledge, people had so many more reasons to feel like they had no control of their lives, no understanding of what they could do, and nothing to maintain hope. Yet our ancestors continued on, through droughts and storms, through predatory attacks and impassable geographic constraints. They survived, multiplied and advanced over the ages to make our existence possible. They had to maintain hope, or we would not be around. When things were darkest, it was their hope and nothing else that brought them enough happiness to try for another day.

The take-home:

Today, the world is full of amazing opportunities, tools, support networks, and information. Needless to say, there is also great despair, negativity, and turmoil. While today’s issues may be different from those that existed millennia back, this era is no more daunting or dark. We still have hope.

No matter what life throws at you, your understanding that you have another day to try, to build, to connect, to search, to meet, to communicate, should be enough to keep a flame of hope alight. As long as you have that flame of light, it can grow to a fire of joy. There have been many stories in modern times of people who realistically should have lost hope—people like Nelson Mandela, Victor Frankl, and Helen Keller. They didn’t, and neither should you. Their hope and your hope are the greatest fortress to persevere against all odds and come out of despair with a deeper happiness than could be found without adversity.

Fixate on your hopes. Repeat them at the outset of each day. Write them down, and don’t let others discourage you. Fortify your hopes by surrounding yourself with people and environments that make these hopes seem more attainable.

As you go forward, you will encounter hard days, frustration, loss, disappointment, and sadness—but remember the rules of happiness and their simplicity, along with our ancestors’ ways of navigating in the world, and go forward with your head held high by creating and connecting.

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